描述
"They used this thing on Stephen King--that's why his mouth looks like that."
The TIA Wave Projector, or "stroke gun," is an experimental weapon that projects a wall of ISOWAVES, spurring a transient ischemic attack on any carbon-based lifeform it contacts. The attack induces a cascading series of ministrokes and MICRO-----CONVULSIONS, making the victim babble incoherently and crap/pee all over their gamer chair.
30 Ministrokes Per Second: Zap!
-4 SWG;
50 Piss DMG;
75 Shit DMG;
(125 total Piss & Shit DMG);
Target loses ability to speak/think. Faction affiliation stripped--no longer receives faction-specific buffs;
Target creature will be placed in nursing home four (4) turns after casting (you'll die here). Hope your bucket list isn't long, Stephen. Your editor's talented, I'm sure he can trim it down a bit--that part about taking a submarine to the Mariana Trench was written while you were coming down off an 8-ball. You're not James Cameron.
