描述
"No, this one's different--it has double the NFC shielding of our nearest fifty competitors AND two types of bottle opener. For the $250 stretch goal we'll even throw in the elastic band expansion pack."
Every man needs GADGET. Top ten tools you will NEED (once) in your life. Now combined in our very CNC-machined GADGET. Very specific situation, like some kind of curse doomed to afflict every male exactly one time. Yes you WILL need to be able to shear through a seatbelt in a burning car with the same thing that has mini phone repair screwdrivers sticking out of it. When your time comes... Do NOT be unprepared. Carry on your person AT ALL TIMES. It's also a money clip.
Jack of All Trades, Master of None: Choose one of the following moves to use for Failed Crowdfunding. The item breaks after one (1) use:
Opens can(s): Wow! No can remains closed - useless.
Brushes man's hair: Beard hair. Hair of head - useless.
Makeshift chisel or hammer thing: If you hold it the long way and be careful with your thumbs you can use it to makes hitting of things little bang bang. Deals 1 damage or fixes a small object that is not badly broken.
Makeshift zip gun (or is it a USB stick?): Defending of the self, muy importante. The guys who made this are pretty ingenious, they made it such that you can 3D print this little plastic nub and turn the whole thing into a .22 caliber zip gun for ya know, a pretty severe or extreme survival situation. Trigger works less than 1% of the time - useless.
RFID-proof wallet: Pretend for a moment that you have anything worth stealing and that the thieves are highly sophisticated but can't get it any other way than doing something very obvious with your wallet - useless.
