描述
Do you ever feel like an alien? Do you fit in with the current narratives within society?
They say that humans are social creatures and that we are meant operate as a tribe. While I love meeting and connecting with people, I also wish I could feel fully secure in these connections. I often feel like no matter how close I become with someone or with a specific group, they will never fully understand me or my life experience and will eventually decide I am a 'throw away' friend. I have thought prior that I am a 'stepping stone' to better things as a way to cope when the other party gets tired of trying because I have walls built around me. I have vivid memories of growing up as a young child, happy and excited, but over time learned how "strange" I was. Though I have never really understood what makes me all that strange, truthfully. I have interests, emotions, excitement for life, passion and try my best to encourage others when I can. I sincerely try my best, even when my best is not enough. I also believe I mask very well and I genuinely care about the wellbeing of others. I try my best to live up to the social expectations that society puts on people, only I take them seriously, which I have recently learned that 'normal' people do not. I read they use these social expectations almost as a way to gain clout or notoriety and connect with other humans rather than abiding by them in full. That concept is so strange to me, even as I type this.
I have a memory of my biological mother trying to jokingly convince me that we were aliens from another planet. She did this because I came home from school upset that I was "weird". I want to assume some other child had said something to me or that I felt hurt in some way. She told me about how "weird" was cool and to embrace it. This is one of the few pleasant childhood memories I have of my mother, but I remember it because even though it was rooted in fiction, I have always felt a longing for somewhere else. A place where I fit. Truthfully though, I do not even know what that place would look like. Perhaps I once did when I was a young child, but now I don't know if I even know myself enough to imagine such a place.
Why are social constructs to rigid?
Why do people give a shit about social norms?
What does it mean to be 'human' when humans can come in so much variety and operate on spectrums.
