描述
In this painting, I tell my story, a story told by many black creatives like me that I only just came to understand.
One cannot escape the piercing gazes that accompany the experience of a black man, especially one in the northern part of England, so much so, I wonder how those who came here before me thrived, but as Teju Cole astutely notes, this gaze takes on a heightened significance when one is black. It is a gaze that carries with it a weight of curiosity, malice, wonder, or even shock. Admittedly, it is not as much an issue as it used to be in the past, but it exists. The stares, that is.
Over time, I have grown accustomed to capturing those stares, meeting the eyes of the person staring back. However, the true observation lies in discerning the intent behind those stares. Are they fueled by hatred, amazement, or a profound sense of disbelief?
To be black is to shoulder the burden of selective enforcement of the law, living in a state of constant unease where personal safety is never guaranteed. As a young black person, I am first seen as a black boy, before any recognition is given to my wit, skills, or academic achievements. It is a reality that casts a shadow over every aspect of life.
Similar to the deeply rooted racism in America, British racism has spent centuries perfecting its camouflage. Its subtlety bewilders, seeping into the atmosphere until it permeates every corner of daily existence. Like misogyny, it operates beneath the surface, revealing itself in perplexing ways. Did the bus driver intentionally depart four minutes early, just as I was about to board? Did the landlord swiftly reject my application because he miraculously found another tenant the minute I left? It is an insidious, atmospheric force, occasionally stark like the elderly couple clutching their bags tightly as soon as I step into the lift, maybe I’m too muscular?
Those who choose to close their eyes to the reality around them unknowingly invite their own destruction. And those who stubbornly cling to a state of innocence long after that innocence has been shattered transform themselves into monsters, perpetuating the very injustices they claim not to see. Awareness, empathy, and a willingness to confront the truth are essential to dismantling the oppressive systems that continue to oppress and dehumanize. Only then can we hope for a world where the weight of stares and the insidiousness of racism no longer define our existence.
